GOD UNDERSTANDS WHY I AM HERE

LORD WHY 

CAN'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND

 I REALLY HURT TODAY

  

 BECAUSE IT IS PEOPLE

  

 CAN'T THIS DISEASE BAFFLE THE BRIGHTEST OF THESE

 IT TAKES A LITTLE WORK

  

 TO SEE  THE CHANGE

  LIKE THIS IT TAKES LONGER

 FOR ME TO GET  BRAIN WAVE 

 GOING TO MY FEET AND  HANDS

 BEFORE MY FEET CAN WALK

  OR MY HANDS CAN WORK

  

SO I AM SLID  INTO MY CHAIR

  

AND A MISSED CALCULATED

I WAS NOT TRYING TO MAKE

  

 THREE POINT TURN

 MY HAND DID NOT GET

 CONNECTED TO THE TOP OF MY BRAIN

 AND MY HAND WAS OUT OF CONTROL

 WHEN I SETTLED DOWN

 I COULD CONTROL  THE WHEEL CHAIR FINE

 DR. LAURIE WOULD SAY 

  THAT IS WHAT SPASTIC AND ALS DO THAT

   THEN THEY BECOME

MORE STIFF ALL IN THE SPACE

OF ONE MINUTE

I DON'T KNOW WHEN I HAVE CHANGES

 TO COMMUNICATE THIS

  

 BECAUSE I HAVE TO PROCESS FIRST

IN MY FRONTAL LOBE

 WHEN YOU HAVE TO PROCESS THROUGH MY BRAIN

 MANY FRIENDS WOULD SAY WHY   

THICK HEADED

, 

                     I WOULD SAY I DON'T KNOW                 

 YOU SEE THIS IS A BAFFLING DISEASE
 
 AND I TO SPECIAL CARE

 TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN
 
 LIMBS

 BUT LIVING IN REHAB

 I FEEL THREATENED

IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED.

 I GUESS WHEN I TAUGHT MY KIDS

 HOW TO DRIVE

 I ALWAYS SAID

  YOU MUST ANCIPATE

WHAT THE OTHER VEHICLE WILL DO.

 ANTICIPATORY ACTION THAT YOU TAKE

  WHEN THE OTHER PERSON DOES NOT DO.

MY SONS WOULD SAY,

I DON'T WANT YOU SAY THAT

 WORD EVER AGAIN

 AND I WOULD SAY

ANTICIPATORY

 WE WOULD GO ROUND AND ROUND

  MAYBE I SHOULD TRY THE WORD ON PEOPLE

WHO WORK WITH ME

THEY COULD BE MORE ANTICIPATORY
 
 THE ALS WRECK

 TO KNOW WHETHER  I AM

SPASTIC OR RIGID

BE ABLE TO OR NOT TO EAT

 I HAVE BEEN EATING THREE MEALS A DAY

 DON'T YOU THINK THEY  SHOULD

  KNOW BASICS

 NOTHING TO DRINK BUT,

ICE WATER ICE

 IT WOULD BE HELPFUL WITH ALS

PEOPLE COULD READ LIKE A BOOK.

IT IS COMING TO A POINT WHERE I CAN'T WRITE

  THEN I CAN'T TYPE

 OR MOVE ANY PART OF MY BODY

  I WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY EYES


 GOD UNDERSTANDS WHY I HAVE ALS

 AND

WHY YOU ARE PUT TOGETHER WITH ME

 GOD UNDERSTANDS.US









   
                    

  

 

DEAR LORD THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.

MY DEAR LORD CAN YOU GUIDE ME

I HAVE ALS

 AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW GOD    

 WELL LORD IT  IS THIS ALS THAT HAS GRABBED ME IN EVERY WAY

 A REAL TRICK

    

 TO GET WHAT YOU NEED

  

WHEN I CAN'T TALK

 MY HANDS ARE TOO WEAK TO SAY

 STOP, WAIT, LET ME GET MY BARRINGS

I CAN'T STAND UP STRAIGHT 

 AND FALL OVER

LANDING CROOKED ON BED

CHAIR AND TOILET.

IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO MOTION TO THEM

WHAT I NEEDED

 THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT  I NEED

 NO ONE BOTHERS TO EVEN KNOW I'M

  

 TRYING  TO TELL THEM SOMETHING

 GOD WHY IS THIS DISEASE SO ALL

 CONSUMING?

 WHY CAN'T I REACH PEOPLE

 AT THE TIME I NEED IT

 LIKE WHEN MY FOOT DOESN'T MOVE

 AND TURNED AROUND FACING THE WHEEL CHAIR

 I JUST HAVE TO STRUGGLE TO MOVE MY FOOT.

 KNOW ONE SEES OR THINKS IT HURTS

  

 I AM STIFF NOT DOUBLE JOINTED.

  

 ALS HITS DIFFERENT PEOPLE DIFFERENTLY

  GOD HOW LONG HAVE SPENT CARING ABOUT OTHERS

WHY  GOD CAN'T THEY SEE I HURT.

 I HAVE MUSCLES THAT ARE GONE

 AND WHEN I SIT IN A WHEEL CHAIR AND THE BACK HAS BEEN LEFT BACK

 IMMEDIATELY LAUGHING WHEN I FALL

 THEY SIT ME ON THE SIDE OF MY BED

 AND I FALL BACKWARDS

 AND THEY GO ON TO LIFT 

  

 MY FEET ON THE BED

AND SAY SHE LOOKS CROOKED

BUT IT REALLY FEELS LIKE

I HAVE A BROKEN BACK

THEY SAY SHE NEEDS PULLED UP.

 THERE SHE IS STRAIGHTEN OUT

 GOD I AM PLEADING WITH YOU TO HELP ME

 HELP THEM.

 GOD  I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO,

 BUT GOD WILL YOU INTERVENE IN THEIR

     

 IN THEIR HEART.

 OPEN THEIR EYES

 GIVE THEM WHAT

THEY NEED TO BE ALERT

TO ANY PATIENTS NEEDS.

THANK YOU LORD

LORD I GUESS I'M STILL ANGRY

LORD I FEEL THE DIFFERENCE

I AM HERE WITH YOU

 WHEN I WASN'T WORKING YOU

 AND PEOPLE SAID

WAIT ON THE LORD AND HE WILL PROVIDE

  EVEN GREATER THAN

YOU EVER NEED IN ABUNDANCE

BE FAITHFUL AND

 HE WILL BE HERE

 WELL LORD I WAITED YEARS FOR YOU
 
 YEARS, YEARS, YEARS


 AND EVERYDAY I AM THANKFUL




 I WAS NEVER EVER DISAPPOINTED




I AND YOU SHOWED UP EVERYDAY


BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE MUCH I HAD TO DEPEND


YOU LORD


  YOU BROUGHT MY SON FROM TH DEPTHS OF HELL


MY TWO GRAND DAUGHTERS


RICH, STACY AND GREG


 CAREERS THAT WILL GO FORWARD


 WHEN MY FRIENDS MEET SOMEONE SPECIAL


 I STEP BACK AND PROBABLY


AM A MARTYR


 I SUFFER BUT YOU ARE THERE AND GIVE ME


 A NEW IDEA POPS IN MY HEAD AND I


 START CHANGING MY COMFORTABLE LEVEL


 TO A NEW AND DIFFERENT


PROJECT LIKE "NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS CARE"


 I WAS DESTINED TO DO THAT AFTER I LOST  SCHOOL.




AND WAS IN SUPPORT GROUPS OF MANY ILLNESSES


AROSE THAT IDEA.


 GENE SAID, '" I 'WAS LIKE A INCUBATOR 


  I KEPT IT ALIVE FOR FIVE YEARS


THIS IS WHERE YOU AND I SLIPPED UP.


I   ALWAYS TOLD PEOPLE

BE AWARE OF A CRISIS

 A MIRACLE  IS ABOUT TO

HAPPEN

AND MANY YEARS I


  SAW WHAT GOD GAVE

HE WILL GIVE 

MORE THAN YOU EVER WOULD KNOW

I DID NOT WANT MUCH

BUT TO LIVE NEAR MY GRAND-DAUGHTERS

    

 SO I COULD HELP WHEN THEY NEEDED ME




HE ALLOWED ME KNEW STEPS 


 I WAITED


MY HOUSE PAINTED ON THE INSIDE


JC WILLIAMS WAS SENT


 AND HOUSE WAS PAINTED

 I WAITED YEARS FOE THE LORD


AND HE CAME


LORD YOU KNOW EVERY TIME I WAS HURT IN ACCIDENTS

  AND WAITED TO GET WELL,
  IT TOOK OVER A YEAR FOR OVER MANY YEARS


 AND WAITED GRACIOUSLY


FOR YOU LORD


 I KNEW YOU CAME AND ALWAYS

 GAVE DEEP THANKFULNESS
  
 ESPECIALLY FOR MY NEW CAR

 TO GET TO THE POINT

 WHERE ARE YOU LORD


 I AM RISING TO THE TOP


 OF DISEASE


 I CAN'T EAT, MY LUNGS ARE VERY BAD,






MY HANDS AND LEGS DON'T MOVE


THIS IS MY WORST


 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM WAITING ON A TRAKE


 I APPRECIATE  ALL THE EQUIUPMENT


 THAT MAKES THIS DISEASE EASIER


GOD I AM HAVE A TERRIBLE  


 IDEA I CAN'T
            
GIVE UP MY FAMILY


I'VE BEEN REALLY AWFUL GRANDPARENT


 I CAN'T STAY WITH THEM


 OR PICK THEM UP


ARE THE GATES OF HEAVEN


 IS WHAT  I AM WAITING ON?


BUT I AM NOT


I WANT TO AND GIVE THE WORLD THE WORLD HUG


I MEAN I WOULD  LIKE  TO  SAY
THANKS


THAT HAS TOUCHED MY LIFE


AND MY LIFE BE RICHER