I keep praising you Lord, But I don't know what for.

MY DEAREST LORD

I DON'T MEAN THE TITLE,
BUT FEEL THE TITLE

I HAVE A DILLY OF A DISEASE

IT BAFFLES THE STRONGEST, MOST FAITHFUL

AND 

WEAKEST, MOST FRAGILE OF HUMAN MINDS

WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT FIGURED OUT

IT THROWS YOU A CURVE BALL!

MY KIDS SAY WOULD HELP ME AND WOULD NOT LEAVE ME,

MY BROTHER AND SISTER SAID THEY WOULD BE HERE

 MY FRIENDS SAID THEY CARED

  

 AND 

  I THINK ALS IS TOO MUCH FOR ALL.

 ALZHEIMER', PARKINSON'S, COPD

CANCER AND MUCH MORE 

ARE ALL DIFFICULT

 BUT THIS ONE IS BAFFLING.

IT IS TOO MUCH FOR SOME TO CONSIDER

MY MIND IS SWIMMING. 

 EVERYTHING THAT WAS ISN'T

EVERYTHING THAT IS WASN'T

EVERYONE IS TRYING TO HELP FAST,

BUT THE DISEASE IS GOING FASTER!!

EVERYONE THINKS THEY HAVE A HANDLE ON IT!

AND WHAM ANOTHER OBSTACLE!

LORD YOU KNOW THE HAIRS ON MY HEAD,

YOU KNOW MY FEARS,

KNOWING IS ONE THING

 HELPING ME AND OTHERS DEAL WITH IT IS ANOTHER

LORD I AM NOT AT PEACE

ACCEPTANCE

I CAN'T GET OUT OF IT!

LAST NIGHT,
IT WAS JUST YOU AND ME.

I COULD NOT BREATHE AND COULD NOT TALK.

I WAS AFRAID.

 I PRAISE YOU THOUGH,
YOU GAVE ME THE IDEA 
TO USE MY NEBULIZER

AND 
THEN MY BI-PAP

I NEEDED TO GET TO THE DOCTOR !

 AND DID NOT KNOW WHO TO CALL

I TEXTED, RICH

  YOU TOLD ME THAT
AND 
HE CALLED HIS DAD

H

HIS DAD,
DICK

TOOK ME THIS MORNING AND I FEEL MORE PEACEFUL!

I ASKED YOU TO INTERVENE IN DICK'S HEART AND GIVE HIM PEACE

I PRAISE YOU LORD
YOU HAVE TURNED MOUNTAINS INTO MOLE HILLS

BUT LORD 

DID YOU NEED TO USE MY DEMISE

I KNOW, I KNOW!

WE CAN'T HAVE OUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!

WELL,
I WANT TO HAVE IT AND EAT IT TOO. 

TAKE THIS DISEASE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY. 

IF THAT MEANS LETTING ME GO,

THAT IS ALRIGHT BY ME. 

I THOUGHT MY PARENTS WERE DIFFICULT,
AS AN ADULT CHILD
TO DEAL WITH THEIR DISEASES.

 BUT THAT WAS A PIECE OF CAKE!

HOW LORD?
HOW AM SUPPOSE TO GO GENTLY INTO THE NIGHT,

WHEN I AM CAUSING SO MUCH PAIN AND ANGUISH?

I KNOW FAMILIES THAT HAVE HAD THREE OR FOUR FAMILY MEMBERS WITH THIS DISEASE AND ONLY ONE IS LEFT.

I KNOW PEOPLE THAT HAVE LASTED A LONG TIME. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT MINE WILL BE 

BUT IT IS GOING AWFULLY FAST.

ALL IS I CAN SEE IS A NURSING HOME IN THREE MONTH'S

PLEASE LORD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO BE 

GRACEFUL

 TO HELL WITH A VAN

I WON'T ENJOY GOING ANYWHERE.

SO HOW DO YOU GO ON WITH

SUCH CHALLENGES LORD. 

THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOT MINE.

DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE CROSS AGAIN?

  

AND HANG THERE FOR A LONG TIME.

THAT IS WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE.

I BEG YOU

 HELP ME SEE THE LIGHT!

FEAR NOT FOR YOU ARE WITH ME! 

I KNOW YOU ARE THERE

BUT I CAN'T FEEL YOU.

I AM STRUGGLING SO

THERE ARE ONLY QUESTIONS NOT ANSWERS!

BUT I KNOW YOU WILL 

BRING THIS TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD, 

I HAVE FAITH YOU WILL.

BUT LORD,

CAN YOU HEAR ME

WOULD YOU GET OFF THE BENCH 

AND 

GET IN THE GAME!!!

I TOOK A BEATING THE LAST GAME
AND I WAS 
ONLY A WATER BOY!

I THANK YOU FOR LEAVING IN THE GAME!

BUT IT IS YOUR TURN TO GET IN THIS GAME 

I NEED YOU,

I NEED YOU 

OH HOW I NEED YOU!

PLEASE LORD 

SHOW US HOW THIS GAME IS PLAYED

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY RIGHT NOW! 

DEAREST LORD, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH TODAY

I PRAISE YOU LORD

AS I LOOK FOR ANSWERS 

 YOUR MINISTERS HAVE LED ME TO NEW HEIGHTS TODAY

I LEARNED YOU GAVE YOUR ONLY SON

 TO SAVE US FROM OUR SINS.

 LORD,  I KNEW THAT EVEN THOUGH 

 I DID NOT PUT IT ON A SHELF OUT OF THE WAY. 

 FOR ME AND OTHERS IT IS A TRUE GIFT. 

 AS FOR ALL PEOPLE IT IT DIFFICULT 

 TO UNDERSTAND 

 HOW YOU COULD REALLY FORGIVE OUR SINS

 WE DO SIN SO MUCH!

BUT THEN THERE IS GRACE

NO MATTER WHAT WE DO OR DON'T DO 

 YOU PUT THAT ON A SHELF

 ALSO

 IT DOES NOT MATTER 

 WE STILL GET GRACE!

 THAT PART,  I DID NOT PUT TO THAT LEVEL

SO OFTEN,

  I DO SOMETHING AND THINK THAT MATTERS

OR

 I DON'T DO SOMETHING

  

(LIKE MOVE RIGHT AWAY)

THAT DOES NOT MATTER EITHER!

 ANOTHER THING I LEARNED WAS 

 THE IMPORTANCE OF LETTING GO

 LIKE THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO

THAT DOES NOT MATTER IN ITSELF

 IF ONE DOES NOT GIVE THE ROOM FOR GRACE

TO TAKE HOLD OF WHAT WE LET GO OF

 AND ALLOW YOU TO DEAL WITH WHAT WE LET GO OF.

 THEN THERE IS FAITH AND LOVE

LOVE CONQUERS ALL , WHICH WE HAVE HEARD

 BUT FAITH MAKES IT ALL POSSIBLE

 FAITH COMES FIRST

 LOVE IS NOT THE END ALL,
IN ITSELF BUT 

 FAITH IS EVERYTHING.

 AT LEAST,
THAT IS WHAT I

LEARNED TODAY.

 I DID NOT GO OUT WITH PEOPLE TODAY

 BUT LISTENED TO ALL KINDS OF MESSAGES

I NEEDED THAT 

WHEN  I GOT A DIVORCE,

I WENT TO MANY CHURCHES HOPING YOU WOULD REACH ME.

I AM FACED WITH THE SAME EMOTIONAL TURMOIL 

BUT CAN NOT DRIVE AND GO PLACES

 THEREFORE  I WATCHED TV

 EVERY CHANNEL I COULD GET HOLD OF.

 I EVEN SAW KERRY SHOOK WHO WROTE 

 ONE MONTH TO LIVE

 WOW

 YOUR GRACE IS SUFFICIENT.

 I HAVE CRIED EVERY TIME I SEE SOMEONE I HAVE NOT SEEN FOR A WHILE. 

  

 WHEN WILL I EVER CALM DOWN 

 NOT TILL, I AM DEAD

 THEN I WILL BE WITH YOU 

 I KNOW THAT LORD

 IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT I DO OR DO NOT DO

I KNOW I HAVE HURT PEOPLE 

 BY NOT BEING GRATEFUL ENOUGH AT THE TIME

 BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR EVERY LITTLE THING AND BIG THING.

 I HAVE BEEN GRACED WITH A GREAT FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND SUPPORTERS.

 I KNOW YOU WILL BLESS THEM FOR THEIR EFFORT

 THIS IS SUCH A DIFFICULT JOB.  

WATCHING A FRIEND AND LOVED ONE FAIL PHYSICALLY

 BUT MY MIND IS GOOD

  FOR WHICH I AM THANKFUL

   

 I WAS TOLD YESTERDAY TO SHOW MY BODY APPRECIATION.

WELL THANK YOU BODY FOR HELPING ME BREATHE STILL AND SIT UP AND WALK.

 I KNOW IT IS A STRUGGLE TO SWALLOW,

BUT THANK YOU LORD

AND MY BODY

I CAN STILL SWALLOW SOMETHING! 

 THANK YOU BODY,

THAT I COULD CURL MY HAIR AND PUT ON SOME MAKE-UP

THANK YOU BODY 

 I COULD BRUSH MY TEETH

AND SPIT IT OUT. 

THANK YOU BODY THAT WE GOT THROUGH THE CONFERENCE

 YESTERDAY

 THANK YOU BRENT AND GREG  

  

 NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS YOU GOT ME THERE.

 THE MORE I SEE THE MORE IT GIVES ME HOPE!

 I DID GET HOPE FROM LORA YESTERDAY

 PRAISE YOU LORD YOU GAVE

 A DIRECTION, WHERE I COULD GET SOME ANSWERS FOR MY FEARS.

 FRIENDS AND FAMILY HAVE SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH 

 I WAS GLAD I COULD TALK TO LORA,
HONESTLY.

 WHEN I GET HONEST ANSWERS  

 I CAN FACE THINGS BETTER.

 WHEN OTHERS DOUBT,
I CAN NOT EXPLAIN TO THEM HOW MUCH I UNDERSTAND. 

I BLOG SO I CAN COMMUNICATE TO SO MANY WITHOUT REPEATING MYSELF.

IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO BREATHE LET ALONE TALK.  

 IT IS OVERWHELMING

I THINK OF SO MUCH APPRECIATION TO SPEAK AND CAN NOT SPEAK. 

 IT IS GOING TO GET MORE DIFFICULT

I DON'T KNOW HOW OTHER ALS PATIENTS WHO LIVE ALONE DO IT.  

 BUT I APPRECIATE MY BODY THAT IT ALLOWS ME TO DO THAT FOR THIS DAY. 

 TO ALL ALS PATIENTS HOORAY

 YOUR BODY IS DOING SOMETHING TODAY

 THANK YOU LORD

 I PRAISE YOU

"One Month To Live"

MT DEAREST LORD

THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THIS BOOK

I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING THE LARGEST BATTLE OF MY LIFE

AND FINALLY

 I FEEL I HAVE A RIGHT TO DO WHAT  I WANT

 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TELLING ME WHAT  I CAN AND CAN'T DO

EVER SINCE THE DIAGNOSIS

AND NOW I AM BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND

A MOVIE STAR 

 SAID TO HER HUSBAND WHO WAS DIAGNOSED 

WITH BRAIN CANCER. 

 "DON'T TELL ANYONE OR THEY WILL STOP WRITING 

 PARTS FOR YOU.

 WELL IT IS DIFFICULT TO KEEP ALS A SECRET

 WHEN YOU BEGIN 

 TO CHANGE YOUR VERY BEING!

 BUT I FEEL PEOPLE STOPPED WRITING PARTS FOR ME.

GOD DO I HAVE A PART?

GOD, CAN I ENJOY WHAT I HAVE LEFT?

GOD

CAN  I WRITE THE SONG?

 GOD PLEASE TELL ME

GOD I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE OTHERS PAIN 

BUT

I CAN'T HANDLE EVERYTHING THE WAY I WOULD PREFER.

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD TO DOWN SIZE

 WE ALL REALLY MUST DO THAT.

 I DID NOT KNOW 

 I WAS GOING TO HAVE A TIME LIMIT.

 NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN I NEED A RUSH JOB!

  

 I CAN NOT DO THAT BOTH
PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY

 I WOULD PREFER 

TO HAVE A HANDLE ON EVERYTHING 

AND

EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE.

 WE ALL COLLECT AND MAKE MEMORIES

 WE CAN  NOT TAKE THEM WITH US. 

 WHEN MY PARENTS DIED 

 I SAID YOU CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING WITH YOU.

  WHAT THEY HAD,
DID NOT MATTER TO ME,

 UNLESS IT MATTERED TO ME.

 DO YOU UNDERSTAND GOD?

  I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO MY CHILDREN!

 AND HEAR I AM STILL DIGGING OUT FROM MY PARENTS.

 I STILL HAVE SOME OF THEIR STUFF.

 IT MEANT SOMETHING TO ME.

 DOES IT GOD?

 DOES IT REALLY?

DID IT REALLY. 

 WHAT DOES MY STUFF MEAN. 

 A NOOSE AROUND MY NECK 

 OR THE JOY OF MY LIFE.

 I LIVE ALONE WITH YOU LORD

IF YOU CAN'T SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE 

 WHAT DOES IT MATTER.

 THIS IS SO PAINFUL.

HOW DO YOU REASON WITH YOURSELF.

I HAVE TO LIVE ON YOUR STRENGTH LORD?

I WEAR OUT SO FAST AND CAN'T BREATHE.

HOW CAN I DEAL WITH LIVING AND WORK ON DYING.

 AS YOU CAN TELL,
  I HAVE NOT FINISHED THE BOOK.

YOU KNOW THERE IS MORE TO DYING THAN JUST DYING. 

 YOU HAVE TO LIVE TO DIE.

BUT WHEN PARTS OF YOUR BODY DIE

 IT IS DIFFICULT TO LIVE.

 I AM SO SICK OF BEING SICK.

THAT DOES NOT SOUND VERY GRATEFUL.

 LORD MY LIFE HAS BEEN A BLESSING IN A WEIRD SORT OF WAY.

I HAVE SEEN THE BLESSINGS IN EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME 

AND

 I PRAISE YOU FOR THAT  

 I TRULY DO. 

 YOU HAVE ALOUD ME TO BE A MISFIT

 TO YOUR NAME. 

 I ALWAYS HAVE THE CROCKED PATH

 MAYBE DIFFICULT 

 BUT IN THE ROCKS AND CREVASSES GROW BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS

THAT IS WHAT I SMELL.

GOD WHAT A THE LESS FORTUNATE GOING TO DO WITH OUT ME

TO TOOT THEIR HORN

I HAVE BEEN TOOTING 

 ALL THOSE WHO CAN'T SPEAK FOR SO LONG

 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TOOT MY OWN HORN.

 WHOOPS THERE I GO AGAIN

 TAKING CREDIT FOR YOUR WORK.

LORD YOU PUT THOSE OPPORTUNITIES

IN MY PATH AND SHOWED ME WHAT YOU WANTED ME TO SAY

   

I ALWAYS ASKED,

LET ME BE AN INSTRUMENT OF YOUR WORD 

I GUESS IF I BLAMED YOU I WOULD HAVE TO CREDIT YOU ALSO

LIFE IS WHAT IT IS

GOD I HAVE TO ASK 

 DIDN'T I DO A GOOD ENOUGH JOB

 WHAT CAN I DO WHEN I CAN'T TALK

 I HAVE MORE TO SAY AND MORE TO SHAKE UP.

 NOW YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A VOICE FOR ALS

WITH NO VOICE

 I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW
I AM SUPPOSE TO BLESS YOU AND PRAISE YOU

 I DON'T LIKE THIS

 I HATE THIS ALS

MY SON TOLD ME TO BLOG

 I HAVE HAD DIFFICULTY BLOGGING

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TIRED 

AND

CAN NOT BREATHE

IT HAS BEEN A BLESSING I GUESS IT HAS HELPED ME COPE

BUT WHAT GOOD IS IT TO GO BACK AND FORTH

I KNOW, I KNOW

 IT IS NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE 

BUT HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME!!!

WELL LORD I MIGHT ONLY BE A WATER BOY

 BUT I AM STILL IN THE GAME.

THANKFUL FOR BEING HERE

MY DEAREST LORD

I AM FEELING VERY THANKFUL TODAY!

MY ARM IS A LITTLE BETTER
AND

 I COULD TAKE A SHOWER
AND
WASH MY HAIR FOR THE FIRST TIME 

SINCE LAST SATURDAY

WHEN I FELL AND HAD TWO BLACK EYES!!!

MY POOR FRIEND EDIE

  

 AND FAMILY

THEY HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS DISEASE

PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING TO GET IT A LITTLE

 BUT I AM NOT. 

 HOW DO YOU EXPECT ONE PERSON TO DEAL 

WITH ALL

THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THIS DISEASE?

ALS
SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS

 IT DRIVES PEOPLE AWAY 

 IT SCARES PEOPLE

 IT FRIGHTENS PEOPLE 

 I THINK AFTER SOMETHING HAPPENS
WE AS HUMANS JUST DEAL WITH IT.

 BUT UNTIL THEN WE

WORRY WHAT IT IS GOING TO BE LIKE.

 

IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS I HAVE DEALT 
WITH A FEED TUBE

HURRY UP AND GET ON THE SCHEDULE!!

 TRAKE SOONER THAN LATER

 ORDER A WHEELCHAIR NOT A SCOOTER

 ORDER A SPEAKING DEVICE

 THEN ELLEN SAYS 

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE?

THEN I COME HOME 
AND 
MY

 BELOVED KAREN IS THERE!!!

SHE HOLDS ME UP WHEN I CAN'T BREATHE.  

  

 SHE IS A TRUE CHILD OF GOD

SHE TAKES WHAT I SAY

NO MATTER WHAT AND HELPS ME DEAL WITH IT!

GOD YOU HAVE TAUGHT YOUR MINISTERS WELL

 WHEN OTHERS CAN'T UNDERSTAND 

  

 MY CHAIN OF MINISTERS AT LEAST TRY!

IT SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND
SOMEONE 

FACED WITH IMPENDING DOOM

IT IS NOT ALL DOOM!

 EMBRACE THE NEW GADGETS

 SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH LOVED ONES

LIVE EVERYDAY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY

I AM TRYING TO LET PEOPLE KNOW ALS IS SURVIVABLE

TO A POINT!

MY DOCTORS ARE THE BEST

THEY ARE GUIDING ME
BUT
I NEED TO GET ON PATIENTS LIKE ME

 TO ASK ABOUT ALL THESE NEW THINGS

I PRAISE YOU

OH LORD 

FOR 

 MAKING ME PRO-ACTIVE 

I AM STILL FIGHTING TO LIVE

 I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP YET

 

I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE

MY DEAREST LORD

THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY

 I DON'T TAKE THIS LIGHTLY

 I DON'T GET ANOTHER CHANCE!!!!

WHAT I WRITE

 WHAT I SAY

 WHAT I DO

 WHEN I WALK 

  

 WHEN I SPEAK

 WHEN I SWALLOW

 WHEN I BREATHE

 THIS IS MY ONLY STEP

 THIS CHANGES ME!!!

 I LOOK AT THE WORLD DIFFERENTLY

IT MAKES ME EMOTIONAL

 IT MAKES ME THANKFUL 

AND APPRECIATIVE

  

 GOD 

 IT MAKES ME ANGRY

 AND ASHAMED 

  

 AND  I COULD CURSE THE GROUND
  I WALK ON.
OR MAYBE
THAT
YOU WALK ON!

 MANY PEOPLE ARE PUT IN THIS POSITION

LORD 

  AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS

 CHAPTER

  

 I SAID I WAS CHECKING IN WITH YOU

TO SEE WHAT YOU WOULD DO WITH THIS MESS!

WELL I AM NOT SURE 

EITHER ONE OF US 

IS HANDLING THIS VERY WELL.

I KNOW I AM NOT. 

SOMETIMES I LAY DOWN KICKING AND SCREAMING

SOMETIMES I LAY DOWN AND AM SO APPRECIATIVE 

THAT I HAD THIS DAY 

AND 

SAW THESE PEOPLE 

AND 

HEARD THIS SAID

 AND 

DID THIS THING

THAT I AM OVERWHELMED.

 THIS IS LIVING LIFE IN

VIVID COLOR

AND 

TOTAL DARKNESS

LORD 

  I LIKED LIVING IN A MODERATE WAY

NOT TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING GOOD OR BAD 

   NOT GREAT WEALTH

 WELL MAYBE

 OR GREAT PAIN 

 OH NO

REALLY GOD 

 WE HUMANS

WANT IT OUR WAY

 BUT THAT IS NOT ALWAYS YOUR WAY.

WE NEVER WANT PAIN, DEATH, RIDICULE 

 HATE THE BAD STUFF

 BUT LOVE, KINDNESS

NURTURE

AND COOPERATION

  

 THAT IS WITH US 

 WHOOPS 

WHO SAYS WE ARE ENTITLED TO ANY THING

SO I GOT IT !!!

  

 IT IS MY JOB 

TO DEAL WITH IT

NOW
I KNOW GOD
YOU DON'T MEAN IT THAT WAY

HELP ME TO LEARN

 WHAT YOU WANT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS.

 TELL PEOPLE
WHAT YOU MEAN AT THE MOMENT

SAY WHAT YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT

 DO WHAT YOU CAN AT THE MOMENT

 BUT LORD 

 I CAN'T SPEAK LIKE I WOULD LIKE

 I CAN'T DO WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO DO 

 I CAN'T WALK AND GO LIKE I WOULD LIKE TO 

  

 REMEMBER LORD 

 I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO DRIVE. 

 WHY LORD IS THIS DISEASE SO IMMEDIATE

 GIVE UP NOW OR YOU WILL LOSE

 DO IT NOW OR YOU WILL LOSE

 WHY DOES THIS DISEASE DEMAND SO MUCH SO FAST?

  

 I AM A LITTLE SLOWER THAN THIS.

 WHY CAN'T PEOPLE SEE THIS IS DIFFICULT?

 WHY CAN'T THEY SEE THE MORE I DO
THE MORE I CAN DO

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP AND SIT IN A ROOM.

I HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT HOW TO DO THIS

 I AM JUST ASKING YOU TO ALLOW ME A LITTLE TIME TO ADJUST.

I AM SORRY
I AM NOT WORKING FAST ENOUGH

  

 I MEAN TO EMPTY MY HOUSE

 SELL MY HOUSE 

  

 FINISH NFC

  

 LORD,
I HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE

 GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO.

 BE WITH WHOM YOU WANT ME TO BE  WITH

SEE THE PEOPLE YOU WANT ME TO SEE

MANY TIMES PEOPLE SAY

GO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.  

 IF I HAD THE MONEY AND THE HEALTH I WOULD

  BUT THANK GOD I DON'T

 THEN I CAN DEPEND ON YOU TO GUIDE MY STEPS

 I WILL FOLLOW YOUR LEAD

 IF I HAVE NOT VENTURED THE WORLD 

 YOU IN THIS LIGHT WILL SHOW ME THE WORLD

 I HAVE ALWAYS DEPENDED ON YOU TO SHOW ME THE WAY

 WHY CHANGE NOW.

 YOU HAVE SHOWED ME THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED

 THE HOMELESS AND THE VERY ILL.

 ALL KINDS OF DISEASES

 EVEN THOSE WHO LOOK NORMAL????

 WE ARE ALL ON A CONTINUUM 

JUST
IF I CAN SEE

NORMAL IS JUST A SETTING ON THE CLOTHES DRYER

PEOPLE ARE FLAWED AND YOU LOVE US ALL 

 SO WHO AM I NOT TO SEE ALL AS MY BROTHERS
AND LEARN FROM THEM

LORD I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH LOVE

 WHY WASTE THIS AND HAVE THIS ILLNESS TAKE A WAY WHAT I CAN GIVE

 COACH

 I AM BEGGING YOU KEEP ME IN THE GAME  

 EVEN IF I AM JUST A WATER BOY

I WILL GIVE WATER TO EVERYONE  

 JUST LET ME BE A WATER BOY!

  

  

I AM CRYING AND ALL MIXED UP

DEAR LORD

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING.

I AM CRYING
AND
JUMPING FROM ONE THING TO THE NEXT

I FEEL BAD,
THE TROUBLE I AM CAUSING EVERYBODY.

IT TAKES ALL MY STRENGTH

TO DO WHAT I HAVE TO TO SURVIVE AND DO THE THINGS I NEED TO DO.

I FEEL I AM NOT GETTING OF HOLD OF EVERYBODY I SHOULD
AND
GETTING TOO MUCH A HOLD OF SOME THAT ARE HELPING ME. 

 IT IS DIFFICULT TO LOSE

 YOUR INDEPENDENCE

 AND NEED HELP.

 I WANT TO BE LIKE,
I USED TO BE

  

 AND 

DO WHAT,
  I USED TO DO.

I AM STILL ME

 I FEEL THAT I AM STILL ME,
  ON THE INSIDE

 BUT I GRIEVE 

 WHAT I  HAVE LOST.

 I AM NOT READY TO CHANGE.

 I FEEL BAD FOR OTHERS TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME.

 THIS DISEASE IS SUCH A MESS

I AM SO THANKFUL
FOR
COLEEN

AND BRENT
AND 

  

 EDGE AND LORIAN.

 EVERYDAY,
SOMEONE TOUCHES MY LIFE
AND
I AM SO THANKFUL

TODAY WAS TOM AND BRIANA DAY, ALSO.

 WHAT BLESSINGS IN MY LIFE.

 EVEN COMPANIES LIKE AT&T

 HELP ME 

  

  MY SONS AND DICK WORK FOR ME DAILY
AND
I CAN'T SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING,
BUT I KNOW
BECAUSE
YOU ALLOW ME TO FEEL IT.

  

 BUT I AM SO GRATEFUL

 CONNIE KEEPS ME CLOSE AND OTHER CHURCH MEMBERS 

 I FEEL THEIR PRESENCE

EVEN IF I AM NOT IN TOUCH!

"NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS CARE"

IS TOUCHING SO MANY LIVES 

AND

I WANT TO BE A PART OF IT. 

I GET FEED BACK MANY TIMES  
AND 
OTHERS ARE TRULY CARING OUT THE JOBS

 PART OF ME IS JEALOUS

I WANT TO BE THERE 

AND 

FEEL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE TOUCHED

BUT THEY DON'T KNOW ME OR WHO I AM.

 I DON'T MATTER THE WAY  I WANT TO 

 LORD IT KILLS ME

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THE WORK BUT I WANT TO BE THERE DOING IT. 

 HELL LORD 

I WOULD EVEN HELP BUILD THE STEPS. 

 TAKE SOMEONE SOMEWHERE.

THESE ARE THE THINGS I HAVE ALWAYS DONE

 THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY PREPARED ME  To Do:


TO SEE THE NEED  of others!

WHY GOD WHY 

DID YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.

I WANT TO BE A PART OF IT!!!

IT IS NOT FAIR!!!

I SHOULD BE A PART OF IT!!!!

LORD WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

IT IS LIKE PULLING THE RUG OUT
FROM UNDER MY FEET!!!

I KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS 
TO ACCEPT HELP

YOU MUST THINK I AM REALLY MIXED UP.

MAYBE YOU ARE TELLING ME,
I DID NOT MAKE NFC HAPPEN
YOU DID. 
 WHOOPS !!!!

WELL I AM STILL JEALOUS OR HURT

THIS IS SO CONFUSING. I NEED THE HELP

I WANT TO BE GIVING THE HELP

IF YOU ARE ORCHESTRATING THIS LIFE 

YOU HAVE GOT IT BACKWARDS

LORD!!!

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS LORD

CAN'T WE PUT ARE HEADS TOGETHER AND GET THIS DONE.

 YOU ARE MY COACH

AND I CAN'T HEAR THE PLAYS 

WHAT PLAY DO YOU WANT NEXT?

HOW ABOUT A TOUCHDOWN

 I WOULD RATHER HAVE A TOUCHDOWN 

HELL LORD

I WOULD EVEN TAKE A TIE GAME

BUT LORD 

 HELP US TO WIN THIS GAME. 

IN FACT I DON'T WANT THIS SEASON TO END

I KNOW LET'S HAVE A GAME YEAR ROUND

COACH DON'T WORRY

I AM NOT GOING TO FIRE YOU

ALL THOUGH I THINK YOU NEED A GOOD WHIPPING

CAN YOU GET THIS LIFE RIGHT

WHAT DID YOU SAY

I CAN'T HEAR YOU

IT IS NOT WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE THE GAME 

IT IS HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME. 

OH LORD I AM SO SORRY

I AM A PART OF YOUR TEAM

A  TEAM NEEDS A COACH 

AND 

A COACH NEEDS PLAYERS

WHOOPS I KNOW I NEED YOU

IN FACT I GOT HURT ON THE FIELD AND YOU NEED TO CARRY ME OFF THE FIELD COACH 

BUT PLEASE COACH

DON'T TAKE ME OUT OF THE GAME. 

EVEN IF I CAN ONLY BE THE WATER BOY

LET ME BE A PART OF THE GAME.

LORD ONLY YOU 

KNOW THE HAIRS ON MY HEAD 

I KNOW YOU WILL KEEP ME IN THE GAME AS LONG AS YOU CAN. 

YOU KNOW LORD I WANT TO STAY IN THE GAME!!

I AM PLEADING WITH YOU 

MAKE IT HAPPEN! 

THANK YOU LORD TODAYS GAME WAS GOOD!!! 

WELL LORD HEAR WE ARE AGAIN

I PRAISE YOU LORD

FOR SHOWING ME TRUE TRUE FRIENDS

WE HAD AN INTERNATIONAL DINNER TONIGHT 

 AT MY DEAR FRIEND CONNIE AND ROY'S HOME

 GOOD FRIENDS AND MARYLAND HERITAGE COOKING

 THANK YOU LORD,
I DID NOT CHOKE AND SCARE EVERYONE.

 THIS DISEASE SCARES PEOPLE

 WOULD YOU TAKE IT BACK AND GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE.

 LIFE , LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

  

 THAT'S WHAT OUR CONSTITUTION PROMISES US

 WHOOPS DID THEY FORGET YOU

  

 WHAT DID YOU PROMISE US

 LET ME THINK 

 DO I REMEMBER

 YOU DID NOT PROMISE US A ROSE GARDEN

 BUT YOU DID PROMISE US THAT YOU WOULD BE THERE!

 BE THERE FOR WHAT!

THIS

 REALLY LORD YOU COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT,

COULDN'T YOU?

 REALLY?

 IF I PLAYED THE LOTTERY

I WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT LIFE THAN YOU GIVE.

A MILLION TO ONE

 NOW IF I WON THE LOTTERY AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS

  

 THAT WOULD NOT HELP THIS DISEASE

SO I GUESS THE LOTTERY DOES RANK UP THERE WITH PROMISES

 IF LIFE ( WHAT LIFE)

 [THE CONSTITUTION DOES NOT GIVE LIFE]

LIBERTY (WHATS THAT)

I GUESS I FEEL LIBERTY

BUT YOU GAVE ME THAT

AND THANK YOU,

MY COUNTRY PROMISES THAT TOO!

AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (THAT IS TRICKY)

GUESS I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS

I HAVE TO HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

 TO BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE HAPPINESS

 SO WHERE DO YOU COME IN ON THIS ONE

 THE WHOLE WORLD SEEMS TO WANT TO DEFINE MY HAPPINESS

 WAIT A MINUTE 

 I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT 

 I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF

 DON'T KIDS SAY THAT

 AM I JUST BEING A CHILD

 AM I DOING CHILDISH THINGS

 I HOPE SO 

 I WOULD RATHER BE A SELFISH CHILD,

AND LOOK THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES

WHOOPS I LOST MY ROSE COLORED GLASSES

AND GOT PURPLE

LORD YOU KNOW I LIKE PURPLE

 BUT I LOVED MY ROSE COLORED GLASSES

 IT MADE THE WORLD LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL

I WANT THAT FEELING BACK

I AM NOT READY TO GIVE UP MY PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

 I WANT TO ENJOY WHAT I ALREADY PURSUED 

 WHAT IS WRONG WITH LIVING

THE WAY YOU WANT TO LIVE,

IF YOU ARE DOING IT

PEOPLE ASK ME TO PICK UP AND CHANGE MY LIFE.

 I AM NOT READY

 I DON'T CARE IF YOU CATCH ME UNPREPARED

 AND SOMETHING HAPPENS. 

 I WOULD RATHER BE WHO I AM AND DO WHAT I WANT TILL

I CAN'T

 THAT IS MY PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

 SO WHAT IF I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND

 THAT IS A WOMAN'S PREROGATIVE

I WANT TO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE I CAN

 I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY

 WAIT A MINUTE

 UNLESS THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD 

 TO HAVE RESPONSIBILITY

 I WANT TO KICK UP MY FEET AND DANCE

 DANCE TILL THE COWS COME HOME

I WANT TO BE SEXY AND DRESS UP TILL I CAN'T DRESS UP

THEN I WANT SOMEONE ELSE,

TO DRESS ME UP TO THE NINES

I WANT TO GO OUT WITH A BANG

  

 BUT LORD,

 PLEASE NO MORE ACCIDENTS.

WHOOPS YOU FORGOT THAT ONE

 OH THAT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT

 US ALS PATIENTS 

ARE 

BUMBLING IDIOTS

WE ARE ABOUT TO FALL AND CHOKE AND NOT BREATHE

WHICH ONE OF YOUR ANGELS MADE THIS ONE UP

 THEY SHOULD ADD A FEW MORE SYMPTOMS

 THEN NO ONE WOULD EVEN SPEAK TO THEM LET ALONE SHARE TIME WITH THEM

I HAVE SEEN SOME ALS PATIENTS LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY 

 DOING WHAT THEY WANT TO DO IN SPITE OF FAMILY

I WISH I COULD NAME A FEW

I 

SO MUCH APPRECIATE

   THEY MAKE ME NOT FEEL ALONE AGAINST THE WORLD.

"WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS"

I NEEDED THAT SONG ALL MY LIFE 

  NOW AS MUCH AS EVER

 PLEASE LORD BE WITH MY FRIENDS  

 HELP THEM ACCEPT MY DECISIONS

 HELP THEM HONOR THE RIGHT I HAVE TO HAVE THEM

 THEY ARE MY DECISIONS

 THANK YOU FOR 

 RICH AND STACY

 THEY ARE HELPING ME BE TRUE TO ME

 I NEED THAT SO MUCH

 THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL FAMILY

MY FAMILY IS STILL DICK AND ME  

 RICH, BRENT AND GREG

 SOPHIE AND ANNIE

 BARBARA AND BEAR

ALLISON AND BRYAN

 JOHNNY AND BELKIS

BECKY

 CONNIE AND ROY ARE A CLOSE SECOND

 WITH 

  

 PETER, MIKE AND CARA

 MEGAN. BETH AND BEN

LEXIE AND CONNOR

OH LORD,

YOU EXTEND OUR FAMILIES SO MUCH BEYOND OUR CAPACITY 

   

 MINNY, KAREN, POLLY AND TOM

THERE IS NOT ANYONE I DON'T CONSIDER FAMILY

 I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT

 THANK YOU LORD THAT 

I DON'T HAVE HATE IN MY HEART 

 BUT LOVE FOR ALL 

 I AM SO APPRECIATIVE 

 THAT YOU TAUGHT ME TO LOVE

 WHAT A GIFT.  

 THAT IS WHAT HOLDS ME TOGETHER 

 I FEEL LOVED

 NOW COULD YOU PLEASE 

 GET EVERYONE ON BOARD 

 LETS END THIS LIFE WITH A JUBILEE

LETS MAKE THE VERY BEST OF IT. 

 PLEASE YOU TAKE CARE OF THE MESSY PART AND LET ME LIVE A JUBILEE

GOD PLEASE GIVE THE GIFT OF JUBILATION

  

 TO EVERYONE WHO TOUCHES MY LIFE

HELP THEM BE STRONG TO ACCEPT MY DECISIONS

HELP THEM HAVE FAITH THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING

 EVEN IF YOU DON'T

 I TRUST YOU DO BUT IT IS DIFFICULT SOMETIMES

 REALLY LORD YOU MADE ME THIS WAY 

OR DO YOU THINK I AM STUBBORN TOO. DID YOU GIVE ME THESE SYMPTOMS 

 TO SEE IF I COULD OBEY

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID WHEN PEOPLE ESCAPE THE FINAN CENTER

 I HOPE THEY HAD A GOOD TIME AND THEY ARE GETTING BETTER BECAUSE,

 THEY WANT TO LIVE.

I WANT TO ESCAPE THIS DISEASE

 I WANT TO BREAK OUT 

  AND HAVE A GOOD TIME

 I WANT TO LIVE IN STEAD OF DIE

 IS NOT THAT WHAT YOU WANT

 OR DO YOU WANT ME TO SUCCUMB.

 LORD PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR MIND

 WHAT IS THAT SONG

 "LIVE LIKE YOU WERE DYING" 

 I AM , LET ME