I AM SECURELY WITH MY SON

HELLO GOD  

  

 I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING MOST OF THE DAY

AND MY FAMILY GOT HOME FROM WORK!

 HOW WONDERFUL TO BE SHARING TIME WITH THEM 

WHEN 

  

 I AM STILL MOBILE,

 AND WALKING ON MY OWN. 

RICH

 HAS BEEN ATTENDING

 AN ALS SUPPORT GROUP FOR CAREGIVERS. 

 HE WANTS TO BE THERE FOR ME. 

 HE WANTS ME TO DO WHAT I CAN

 TO FULFILL MY VISION

 OF 

 NFC.

HE IS BEHIND ME 100%

 HE HAS A PHILOSOPHY

THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD!!!

  

 GOD SENT ME 

THREE

OF THE MOST WONDERFUL SONS

RICH, BRENT AND GREG

ALL OF WHICH ARE BEHIND ME 

 100%  

  

 IT IS DIFFICULT TO BE TOLD YOU HAVE A TERMINAL ILLNESS.

  

 IT IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT TO KNOW YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH 

TODAY IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT AND DEAL WITH.

 BUT EVEN MORE DIFFICULT IS TO KNOW THAT

 IT WILL GET WORSE TODAY, TOMORROW OR THE NEXT DAY.

  THE LIGHT IS THAT 

THERE ARE THINGS 

INVENTED TO HELP ME WITH

MY INDEPENDENCE!!!

RICH IS SHOCKED THAT

PEOPLE ARE SO READY TO GIVE UP ON ME AND MY LIFE.

 ALL MY SONS ARE GETTING EDUCATED ON ALS.

 I APPRECIATE THAT.

 I HAVE HEARD A LOT

ABOUT OTHER FAMILIES 

FACING THIS DISEASE OF ALS

RICH SAYS HE WILL SUPPORT ME IN WHAT I WANT,

 AND IS HELPING ME TO FIND OUT

WHAT THAT WILL BE.

HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE

  

 AND HELPS ME FACE THE WORLD!

IT IS DIFFICULT TO FACE FAMILY AND FRIENDS

 IT IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT 

TO DEFEND MY POSITION 

ON WHAT I FEEL ABOUT THINGS.

I AM WORRIED ABOUT GOING HOME

THAT I WILL HAVE TO DEFEND EVERYTHING I DO.

THAT IS DIFFICULT WHEN

I DON'T KNOW 

AND 

DON'T  HAVE A VOICE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF.

I AM SEARCHING FOR MY WAY IN THE DARKNESS 

GOD

THIS DISEASE IS THE DARKNESS

 I HAVE NOT SEEN THE LIGHT.

 I KNOW YOUR TIME IS THE BEST TIME

 BUT  

 LORD 

 PEOPLE DON'T WANT ME TO WAIT ON YOU LORD.

THEY WANT ME TO HURRY UP AND MAKE UP MY MIND ON EVERYTHING.

IT IS DIFFICULT TO FACE THIS

 AND I AM HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME GIVING UP MY INDEPENDENCE.

 GOD,
I USED TO DRIVE MY SELF EVERY WHERE.

 I COULD GO AND DO WHAT EVER I WANTED.

 NOW I HAVE GIVEN UP MY CAR 

AND 

 HAVE TO HAVE A REASON TO GET OUT AND GO.

 IT HAS TO BE AN APPOINTMENT 

OR A GOOD ENOUGH REASON 

TO TROUBLE PEOPLE TO TAKE ME.

THEN I MAY NEED A WHEEL CHAIR

 OH MY GOD

 WHAT IF PEOPLE CAN'T HANDLE IT!

WHAT IF  I CAN'T HANDLE IT!

 THIS IS COMPLETING 2 MONTHS

SINCE I WAS DIAGNOSED.

MY LIFE HAS CHANGED 

180 DEGREES

OR

EVEN 360 DEGREES

WHEN SOMEONE HAS A VICE

AND THEY TAKE YEARS TO FACE 

AND MAY NEVER FACE THEIR ADDICTION.

THAT IS A CHOICE.

 IF I HAD A CHOICE

I WOULD CURE THIS DISEASE IN A MINUTE 

SO NO ONE WOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.

ALS IS AN AWFUL DISEASE 

LIKE MANY OTHER DISEASES 

I KNOW 

I TOOK CARE OF MY PARENTS WITH THEIR DISEASES.

AND THAT WAS DIFFICULT BUT MEANINGFUL.

 IT TAUGHT ME MANY LESSONS.

 GOD,
I DON'T WANT TO TEACH OTHERS
AND
MY FAMILY MEANINGFUL LESSONS.

I DON'T WANT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO GO THROUGH THIS.

I COULD DEAL WITH DEATH,

IT IS THE LIVING,

I AM HAVING TROUBLE WITH.

GOD PLEASE,
I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN

 I JUST WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY OWN SHIT!

WHY IS THIS SUCH A STRUGGLE. 

 I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I FEAR I WILL LEAVE SOMETHING UNDONE.

I NEED MORE TIME LORD

EVEN IF I HAVE MORE TIME

I THINK I AM SAYING 

I NEED MY INDEPENDENCE BACK

I GUESS I WANT TO BE WELL.

 I DON'T LIKE TO SEE THE PAIN IN OTHERS EYES ABOUT ME.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT BRINGING JOY AND PEACE TO OTHERS

THIS IS MIXED UP 

 I CAN'T TAKE THIS.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN 

 REALLY LORD

 

  

I AM BACK

THANK YOU GOD!

THE PLANE IS A LOT EASIER TO RIDE IN 

THAN THE CAR!

I JUST LANDED FROM AN AWESOME TRIP  TO ENGLAND!

I MADE IT WITH ALS THE WHOLE TRIP!

EVERYONE MADE IT POSSIBLE

  

BUT GOD ORCHESTRATED ME MAKING IT.

  

 I AM SO THANKFUL 

I KEPT UP WITH EVERYONE. 

 THERE WAS NOT ANYTHING I DID NOT GET TO DO.

 MY DEAR SON,  GREG

MADE MY GETTING PLACES

A BREEZE

EVEN IF I COULD NOT FUNCTION LIKE 

REGULAR FOREIGN TRAVELER.

WHEEL CHAIR OUT,

 PUSH, PUSH, PUSH! 

 HELP ME IN THE VAN, 

  

 SIT BESIDE ME SO I WOULD NOT SWAY AROUND IN THE CAR,

 HELP ME ORDER FOOD,

 FIND A CUP OF ICE,

 HELP ME GET READY AND GO TO BED. 

  

 THERE WAS NOT ANYTHING I DID

THAT GREG WAS NOT BY MY SIDE.

MY BROTHER, JOHN 

COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE GRACIOUS,

 A SUPERIOR GUIDE AND SHOWED US THE BEST OF THE BEST.

  

 WE WENT OVER A 1000 MILES IN TRAVEL, 

 TASTED ENGLAND AT IT FINEST.

 BUT THE MOST INTERESTING THING WAS! 

  

 HOW UNBELIEVABLY  GRAND 

 WAS LOOKING ME IN THE EYE 

AND 

SAYING WHEN YOU COME BACK WE WILL DO THIS.

DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH IT COST IN EVERY RESPECT TO GIVE SUCH A GIFT TO 

AN ALS PATIENT 

LET ALONE A SISTER.

HE AND BELKIS WENT TO TREMENDOUS SACRIFICE

TO AFFORD ME THEIR SISTER WITH ALS 

EXTRA ORDINARY COMFORT.

 A BED AND BREAKFAST GOTHIC STYLE NIGHT AFTER A LONG TRIP.

MY HEART GOES OUT TO MY FAMILY 

 INCLUDING MY SISTER, BARBARA AND 

HER DAUGHTER ALLISON 

  

 WHO KEPT GREG AND I IN THE LOOP ON EVERY TRAVEL.

WHEN WE BAPTIZE  A SMALL CHILD WE SAY 

IT TAKE A CHURCH TO RAISE A CHILD.

  

 WELL IT TAKES A SUPERIOR 

 FAMILY TO HELP 

 A MOM AND SISTER 

ME 

JUST RECENTLY DIAGNOSED

WITH ALS

DO SUCH REMARKABLE THINGS.

MY BODY IS NOT DOING WHAT I WANT IT TO.

 MY EMOTIONS RUN DEEP AND HIGH. 

 I AM EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL ABOUT WHAT I HAVE LOST IN INDEPENDENCE,

BUT THROUGH IT ALL

I MADE IT TO ENGLAND AND HOME BACK ON US SOIL.

I LOVE AMERICA

BUT ENGLAND IS A NICE PLACE TO VISIT. 

I HOPE I KEEP GOING AND DOING AS MUCH AS I CAN!

THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL THIS AND SO MUCH MORE.

 

HEADING TO ENGLAND

HELLO GOD!

I AM LEAVING MONDAY

TO FLY TO ENGLAND.

I WENT TO THE ALS SYMPOSIUM TODAY

AND ENTERED 

A GENETIC TESTING,

GROUP AT NIH

  

I WAS TESTED FOR WEAKNESS 

I BELIEVE,
THAT  

IS THE REASON I AM SLOW TO GET EXCITED.

"EFF" 

  (EXECUTIVE FUNCTION FAILURE)

AND
HAS IT VERY TIRING FOR ME  TO PACK.

I KNOW ONCE I GET THERE,

I WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING!

I THINK THAT IS,
WHAT IS DIFFICULT 

 ABOUT HAVING ALS.  

 IT TAKES SO MUCH ENERGY:

TO BREATHE,

TO TALK,

AND 

TO WALK, 

THAT I AM WORN OUT.

TOO TIRED TO PUT ON 

MY BI-PAP MACHINE.  

I DO NOT WANT TO WEAR OTHERS OUT, 

 TO HELP ME OUT.

I STILL SEEM TO HAVE MY SENSE OF HUMOR THOUGH.

I LAUGHED SO MUCH TODAY,

MAYBE THAT WORE ME OUT. 

 BEAR SAID,

HE HAD NEVER SEEN ME LAUGH SO MUCH.

 WAS IT "EFF"  

OR MY SICK SENSE OF HUMOR?

BARBARA, 

ALMOST RAN OVER ME WITH HER CAR.

SHE DID NOT EXPECT TO HAVE ME WALK DOWN WITH HER FROM A STORE.

LUCKY,

I ANTICIPATED

SHE DID NOT SEE ME AND STOPPED.

OR 

WAS IT THAT I DID NOT TRUST HER TO DO ME IN.

JUST JOKING!!!

THAT IS WHAT I MEAN ABOUT LAUGHING ALL DAY.

ONE LINERS HAVE FLOWN ALL WEEK-END.

EVERYBODY SAYS I SHOULD WRITE

AN 

ALS JOKE BOOK.

WOULDN'T THAT BE A HOOT! 

WELL, HOPE I CAN CONTAIN MYSELF A LITTLE IN ENGLAND,

OR I WILL NEVER SURVIVE!

YOU SEE,
I CAN'T BREATHE WHEN I LAUGH!

HOW TO KILL AN ALS PATIENT!

TELL THEM A JOKE!

I GUESS IT IS BETTER TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF

THAN CRY ALL THE TIME.

THAT IS "EFF" FOR YOU!

I LAUGHED SO HARD FOR TWO DAYS,

  I AM TOO TIRED TO GO TO ENGLAND!

THINK AGAIN

I AM ON MY WAY!

  

THIS IS MY STRUGGLE

DEAREST LORD

MY STRUGGLE SEEMS TO BE THE SAME STRUGGLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE

I KNOW THIS IS TRUE

CAN YOU BE EASY ON EVERYBODY INCLUDING ME?

THIS IS NOBODY'S FAULT

HOW COME SOME THINGS ARE MORE PEACEFUL

AND

OTHERS ARE NOT?

I AM GOING TO AN

ALS SYMPOSIUM TODAY.

I HOPE SOME PEOPLE I HAVE MET ON-LINE ARE THERE

MAYBE THEY CAN HELP.

LET THE CHIPS FALL 

WHERE THEY MAY.

MY HOUSE,

MY STUFF

MY BILLS.

YOU TELL ME IT WILL ALL WORK OUT.

PLEASE GOD I AM NOT BIG ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS.

GUESS WHAT ?

IF I DON'T KNOW,

HOW COME EVERYONE ELSE DOES?

AM I GOING THROUGH THE ANGER PHASE OF GRIEF 

  

 OR AM I TRYING TO FIND OUT 

 WHO I AM

OR 

AM I ON

A COLLISION COURSE WITH HELL!

!

  IT FEELS LIKE THE LATTER.

  

 PLEASE GRANT PEACE TO EVERYONE MY LIFE TOUCHES.

I MEAN EVERYONE.

WE ARE ALL HUMAN


I JUST HAPPEN TO BLOG ABOUT MY HUMANNESS!

I AM NOT PERFECT

AND

HAVE AWFUL THOUGHTS.

I JUST PUT IT OUT THERE

NOT FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE 

BUT MAYBE THEY DO!

MAYBE JUST MAYBE THEY WILL FEEL BETTER

THAT WE ARE ALL HUMAN

AND CAN HAVE AWFUL THOUGHTS,

DOUBTS AND CONCERNS.

I AM SURE I AM NOT THE FIRST 

TO THINK

DOES GOD KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING?

MAYBE HE COULD CHANGE HIS MIND,

AND PULL OFF A MIRACLE.

WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHING. 

PEOPLE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

    HELLO GOD! 

                  

 EARTH TO HEAVEN

  

 ANYBODY HOME?

 OH YOU ARE HOME!

 I THOUGHT MAYBE NO ONE WAS HOME!

DID YOU KNOW I HAVE ALS

OH YOU DO KNOW!

WELL,

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HELP ME OUT 

AND

TOUCH EVERYBODY'S HEART

AND
LET THEM KNOW I WILL BE OK!

EVERYONE IS WORRIED ABOUT ME

AND

THEY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ALS.

THIS IS MY HOME!

NFC IS MY JOB!

THESE ARE MY STEPS!

I CANNOT CHANGE IN 4 WEEKS!

IF THEY WERE GIVEN A TIME LEFT TO LIVE 

HOW WOULD THEY HANDLE IT?

I CONTEND THEY WOULD FIGHT HARD TO KEEP THEIR LIFE THE WAY IT IS?

YOU DON'T THROW THINGS OUT IMMEDIATELY!

YOU DON'T KEEP EVERYTHING STRAIGHT?

WITH ALS YOU LOSE YOUR FUNCTIONING FAST OR SLOW

MAYBE NOT FOR A LONG TIME?

MAYBE VERY FAST?

MY FAMILY,

MY FRIENDS,

 MY CHURCH, 

MY MINISTER

 ALL HAVE DECIDED WHAT I SHOULD DO RIGHT NOW!

WHAT HAPPENED WITH 

 WAIT ON THE LORD 

AND 

HE WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY!

EVERYONE THAT WANTS ME TO TURN OVER 

NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS CARE 

AND

 LET MY FAMILY  TAKE OF CARE ME

HAVE THEY ASKED ME WHAT I WANT 

OR 

  

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME. 

WHAT IF I WAS A CEO OF A COMPANY

WOULD EVERYONE ANNOUNCE AT A BOARD MEETING 

THAT HE WAS INCOMPETENT

AND 

  TO STEP DOWN IMMEDIATELY!

HE IS NOT INCOMPETENT

 PERHAPS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ALS

WOULD YOU SAY QUIT AND GO LIVE

WITH YOUR FAMILY. 

 YOU NEED TO ALLOW THEM TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

WHAT IF A MINISTER OF A CHURCH WAS GIVEN A DIAGNOSIS OF ALS

WOULD EVERYONE SAY 

IF YOU DON'T RESIGN 

WE WILL QUIT THE CHURCH!

WHAT IF PEOPLE SAID BEHIND HIS BACK 

  THAT HE WAS INCOMPETENT

IF HE JUST NEEDED TO REGROUP

 

AND WAIT TO GET EVALUATED 

SO HE COULD GET SOME ASSISTED LIVING DEVICES.

HELLO OUT THERE

ANYONE WITH ALS BEEN A PUBLIC SPEAKER

AND STILL CONTINUES TO BE A PUBLIC SPEAKER WITH ALS.

LORD 

  WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO ACCEPT EVERYTHING
RIGHT A WAY

AND CHANGE MY WAYS
OR
PEOPLE WILL QUIT HELPING ME OR MAKE ME RESPONSIBLE 

FOR SUCCESS OR FAILURE 

OF 

MY LIFE

 MY APARTMENT

NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS CARE.

LORD I GAVE UP DRIVING AND

DID NOT COMPLAIN!

MY HEART HAS BEEN WITH NFC

SINCE 2005

NO ONE ASKS ME,
HOW I WANT TO HANDLE IT?

THEY JUST TELL ME
PEOPLE TELL THEM

  

THEY WILL QUIT OR IT WILL FAIL! 

  

IF I DON'T STOP WHAT I AM DOING!

IF I WAS THE MINISTER OR CEO OR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

WOULD THEY SAY THE SAME THING.

 EVERYONE WITH ALS IS THAT WHAT PEOPLE TOLD YOU?

IS THAT WHAT I NEED TO DO?

GET RID OF MY STUFF,

 MY CLOTHES,

 MY SHOES,

  

 MY BOOKS

 MY JUNK

 MAKE IMMEDIATE DECISIONS, YESTERDAY

I DO NOT HAVE AN APPOINTMENT FOR 

ASSISTIVE DEVICES TILL 

THE SECOND WEEK IN OCTOBER

I AM STRUGGLING WITH WHO I AM,

  WHO OR WHAT

I WILL BECOME.

 WHEN MY SON WAS HURT 

  I SAID 

LORD

 HELP ME LOVE WHAT IS LEFT.

 NO MATTER WHAT CONDITION

PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF THIS DISEASE

AND KNOW IT IS BAD? 

 BUT REALLY PUBLICLY

TELLING PEOPLE I SHOULD QUIT 

AND 

NOT GIVE WHAT I HAVE TO GIVE.

I HAVE HEARD SO MANY STORIES

  

 DOES ANYONE TAKE THE TIME TO ASK ME WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH 

  

 MY JOB!

 HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I CAN DO?

  

 I WILL GO TO A SYMPOSIUM ON ALS THIS WEEK-END

   ON ALS

I HOPE TO ASK THEM WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.

 GOD, 

  

 I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS BUT YOU DO?

 HELP ME TO STOP THIS PAIN WITHOUT DYING WHILE I AM ALIVE.

SOME PEOPLE GET IT AND SOME DON'T GET IT.

  

 LORD HELP ALL OF US!

 THIS IS DIFFICULT TO SEE YOUR LOVED ONE FACE SUCH A CHALLENGE

  

BUT IT IS 

 JUST AS DIFFICULT

TO ACCEPT IT AND KNOW WHAT TO DO MYSELF.

 GOD HEAL OUR PAIN,

SO WE DON'T HURT ONE ANOTHER

THIS IS SO PAINFUL FOR EVERYONE

 AND IT SAPS EVERYONE'S STRENGTH

I AM GOING TO VISIT MY BROTHER, 

JOHN IN ENGLAND

HELP IT TO BE EASY TO DEAL WITH ME AND MY CONDITION 

HELP ME NOT TO SCARE OR FRIGHTEN MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS!

I DON'T LIKE TO BE THE OBJECT OF EVERYONE'S CONCERN

 I AM STILL A MOTHER, SISTER FRIEND

 AND I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THINGS

IN FACT EXTREME FEELINGS ABOUT THINGS.

Breathing Machine

THANK YOU,

GOD

I SURELY QUALIFIED FOR THE BI-PAP,

I AM NOT USE TO USING IT YET

BUT AM GETTING MORE TRAINING TODAY.

 I REALLY FEEL A LITTLE STRONGER TODAY!

I KNOW IT WILL HELP!

I HAVE HAD A DIFFICULT WEEK!

LORD BE WITH ME

  

 YOU KNOW THE CHALLENGES I FACE!

I PRAY FOR 

"NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS CARE"

IT IS JUST ABOUT TO TAKE OFF,

AND HAS REAL GROWING PAINS!

I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS!

YOU LORD HAVE THE STRENGTH

TO HANDLE THIS,

I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH GOD WHO STRENGTHENS ME.

OK GOD

I AM PLEADING WITH YOU TO DO YOUR JOB!

PEOPLE NEED THIS PROGRAM

CHURCHES NEED THIS PROGRAM

CHILDREN NEED THIS PROGRAM

THIS IS A REAL MISSION FIELD

LET THE PEOPLE WHO NEED HELP

BE HELD IN YOUR LOVING ARMS!

I PRAY FOR THEM.

YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH A PART OF THIS 

OPENING MY EYES TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS

YOU WHO HAVE DONE A GOOD WORK IN ME 

WILL COMPLETE IT

WITH OR WITH OUT ME.

I PRAY 

YOU LET ME BE A PART OF THIS AS LONG AS I CAN!

I LOVE YOU LORD.

PLEASE YOU ALONE KNOW MY HEART.

NOW YOU HAVE MADE ME 

ONE OF THOSE 

WHO NEED HELP! 

LORD IT IS EASY TO HELP THOSE WE KNOW

I KNOW IT IS DIFFICULT TO HELP 

THOSE WE DON'T KNOW!

I PRAY YOU OPEN THE HEARTS 

OF THE VOLUNTEERS 

AND YOU SHOW THEM THE WAY!

SINCE I AM WEAKENING IT IS UP TO YOU!

I PRAY ALL CAN LOOK TO YOU!

GIVE THEM FAITH IN ME

I STILL HAVE THE SPIRIT

AND HAVE SO MUCH TO GIVE

ALLOW ME TO GIVE !

GIVE ME THE STRENGTH

TO GIVE

MAKE ME STRONG!

 SO I DON'T WITHER AND FEEL FAINT.

I GIVE TO YOU AS YOU HAVE GIVEN TO ME.

SEND ANGELS INTO  

ALL THE LIVES

OF ANYONE WHO TOUCHES THIS PROGRAM.

TOUCH THEM WITH THE VISION 

HEAL THE BROKEN

LIFT UP ALL PEOPLE 

AND 

ALLOW THOSE WHO NEED HELP

TO WELCOME IT WITH OPEN ARMS.

I PLACE NFC

AT YOUR FEET 

FOR PURIFYING 

AND 

LIFTING UP IN THE LORD'S NAME.

THANK YOU LORD 

FOR 

HELPING ME BREATHE EASIER

LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF GOD

LET GO AND LET GOD

WELL, I AM TRYING

I HAVE TO SAY MY PEACE 

 AND 

 LET GOD DO THE REST!

THANK YOU GOD FOR FINDING SOME UNUSUAL WAYS

TO ALLOW ME TO SAY WHAT IS ON MY MIND!

 I KNOW YOU WILL FIND A WAY

 TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

I AM GOING TO STOP WORRYING!

I ASK BRENT WHAT HE AND RICH TALKED ABOUT?

HE SAID YOU ARE HERE RIGHT NOW, MoM

TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME

 ONE MINUTE AT A TIME.

  

 I AM SCARED LORD

 WHAT DO I D0?

I AM TRYING TO SURVIVE 

WITHOUT BEING A PROBLEM TO EVERYONE!

I DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL FEEL ABOUT

 GOING TO SUNDAY SCHOOL AND CHURCH!

 RICH WANTS ME TO ASK BOB K. ABOUT THE HOUSE

WHAT TO DO?

 NURSING HOME?

 I AM NOT DUMB!

 LET GO AND LET GOD

 WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

EVERYTHING KEEPS FLOODING IN.

 EVERYONE SAYS I WILL NEED ROUND THE CLOCK CARE

AND
NO ONE IS INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY.

 THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL

 I HAVE ONLY KNOWN ABOUT THIS 

 SINCE AUGUST 3, 2010

  

I THOUGHT YOU SAID,
'

YOU WOULD NOT GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE!

I AM AFRAID MY BOAT IS TIPPING OVER

I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO

TO NOT FUNCTION.

  

 TO DIE!

LORD HELP ME BREATHE AND NOT CHOKE!

I NEED TO WRITE SIX BLOGS TONIGHT!

LORD HOLD ON TO ME.

THERE ARE SO MANY ANGELS 

YOU 

SEND MY WAY.  

THANK YOU FOR HELPING PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO ME

AND HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING.

I KNOW THEY HEAR!

HELP THEM, GUIDE THEM, STEADY THEM

WHILE THEY HELP ME SURVIVE.

I NEED TO LET GO AND LET GOD HANDLE THESE THINGS

BUT THEN EVERYONE SAYS YOU NEED TO DO THIS!

IT SOUNDS LIKE A CONFLICT OF INTERESTS

LET GO

BUT DO THIS.

HOW CONFUSING LIFE IS. 

LIVING ALONE WITH YOU LORD

HAS TO BE ENOUGH!

YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF ME.

SHOW ME THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT

WHOOPS

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT LIGHT YET!

GOD THIS IS CONFUSING AND I NEED TO REST 

I really choked and got scared

DEAR GOD

PLEASE GOD

I REALLY CHOKED

I REALLY DID NOT THINK I WOULD MAKE IT.

I COULD NOT CALL

I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO

SO I STOOD UP AND THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FALL DOWN

EVEN IF SOMEONE LIVED WITH ME 

THEY COULD NOT HELP

I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT ALERT WOULD WORK

I DON'T HAVE HAVE NUMBERS HANDY

WHO WOULD YOU CALL?

I GUESS I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.

ALL OF A SUDDEN I BECAME AN ADULT 

AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

ENOUGH FOR BEING AN ADULT.

I WANT TO BE A KID 

I WOULD NOT HAVE TO FACE SO MUCH.

I AM REALLY CHALLENGED

I AM STILL TRYING TO BREATHE.

A LITTLE ROUGH

GOD THIS IS REALLY ROUGH

HOW DO I HANDLE 

PROTECTING THE ONES I LOVE

WNEN I AM BEING SUCH A BABY.

PLEASE GOD HELP ME. 

 

THANK YOU LORD, I FEEL MORE OPEN TODAY

MY DEAREST GOD

I HEARD A LOT TODAY!

FROM THE DOCTOR

EVERYTHING KEEPS SETTING IN A LITTLE DEEPER

I KNOW I DON'T HAVE LONG 

BEFORE MY LIFE WILL NEED TO CHANGE

DRASTICALLY!

I KNOW EVERY DAY I WALK,
IS A BLESSING

I KNOW 

EVERYDAY 

I BREATHE, SWALLOW AND TALK 

IS A GIFT

AND THAT MIGHT LEAVE FIRST.

I KNOW MY OPTION IS

NURSING HOME, NURSING HOME NURSING HOME

I KNOW MY KIDS SAY THEY WILL 

TAKE CARE OF ME.

BUT I KNOW, AS MUCH AS THEY WANT TO,

THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE.

I KNOW WE HAVE TO TALK

I KNOW RICH MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 

HE SAID, "I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR SPECIAL THINGS

AND 

WE WILL BULL DOZE THE REST. 

HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE FINISHING MY HOME 

WAS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT!

THANK YOU RICH.

HE GAVE ME A BLESSING 

BY TAKING ME TO MY REUNION!

IT WAS WONDERFUL

I SAW SO MANY PEOPLE I LOVED
FROM HIGH SCHOOL

AND THEY ALL TOUCHED MY HEART

THAT MEANT SO MUCH TO ME.

I AM SORRY I TOOK MORE FROM THEM  MORE THAN I GAVE.

I ONLY GAVE THEM A CARD WHICH TOLD WHY I COULD NOT TALK 
AND ASK THEM 
ABOUT THEIR LIVES.

LORD,

WAS I SELFISH,

NOT TO ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR LIVES?

MAYBE I COULD NOT LOOK PAST MY OWN NOSE.

MAYBE LORD, I COULD NOT HEAR ABOUT THEIR LIVES

FLOURISHING AND MINE ENDING.

PLEASE FORGIVE CLASS!

UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES

I WOULD WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LIFE 

YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN 

WHAT WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU.

I SEEMED TO BE MORE SELF-CENTERED,
THAN I USUALLY AM

I BELIEVE, I FELT RUSHED 

LIKE I DO WITH ALL MY LIFE. 

IF I CAN'T GET IT ALL IN 

THEN WHAT DO I DO. 

I LOVED EVERYONE I GOT TO TALK TO AT THE REUNION
YOU GAVE ME SUCH COURAGE.

I WANT TO KEEP FIGHTING 

BECAUSE I SAW YOU

AND MY KIDS 

AND MY FRIENDS.

I GUESS NO MATTER WHAT THE NEWS TODAY 

I WILL KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT

BECAUSE YOU SENT SOO MANY ANGELS TO CARE 

I LOVE YOU LORD