THIS IS MY STRUGGLE

DEAREST LORD

MY STRUGGLE SEEMS TO BE THE SAME STRUGGLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE

I KNOW THIS IS TRUE

CAN YOU BE EASY ON EVERYBODY INCLUDING ME?

THIS IS NOBODY'S FAULT

HOW COME SOME THINGS ARE MORE PEACEFUL

AND

OTHERS ARE NOT?

I AM GOING TO AN

ALS SYMPOSIUM TODAY.

I HOPE SOME PEOPLE I HAVE MET ON-LINE ARE THERE

MAYBE THEY CAN HELP.

LET THE CHIPS FALL 

WHERE THEY MAY.

MY HOUSE,

MY STUFF

MY BILLS.

YOU TELL ME IT WILL ALL WORK OUT.

PLEASE GOD I AM NOT BIG ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS.

GUESS WHAT ?

IF I DON'T KNOW,

HOW COME EVERYONE ELSE DOES?

AM I GOING THROUGH THE ANGER PHASE OF GRIEF 

  

 OR AM I TRYING TO FIND OUT 

 WHO I AM

OR 

AM I ON

A COLLISION COURSE WITH HELL!

!

  IT FEELS LIKE THE LATTER.

  

 PLEASE GRANT PEACE TO EVERYONE MY LIFE TOUCHES.

I MEAN EVERYONE.

WE ARE ALL HUMAN


I JUST HAPPEN TO BLOG ABOUT MY HUMANNESS!

I AM NOT PERFECT

AND

HAVE AWFUL THOUGHTS.

I JUST PUT IT OUT THERE

NOT FOR PEOPLE TO JUDGE 

BUT MAYBE THEY DO!

MAYBE JUST MAYBE THEY WILL FEEL BETTER

THAT WE ARE ALL HUMAN

AND CAN HAVE AWFUL THOUGHTS,

DOUBTS AND CONCERNS.

I AM SURE I AM NOT THE FIRST 

TO THINK

DOES GOD KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING?

MAYBE HE COULD CHANGE HIS MIND,

AND PULL OFF A MIRACLE.

WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHING.