THIS DISEASE GOT ME UP AGAIN CHOKING

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I AM BRAVE ENOUGH FOR THIS?

I GET BACK TO SLEEP BECAUSE I AM REALLY SO THANKFUL

 AND THEN

  

 I WAKE UP IN A BAD WAY

THAT IS OK LORD YOU GET ME SETTLED DOWN FAST.

 I AM BLOGGING AGAIN AND IT ALREADY GIVES ME PEACE.

 IT IS AMAZING WHAT 

"A LITTLE DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT "

CAN DO.

 THAT IS IF I INCLUDE YOU GOD!!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD BE WRITING IF I DID NOT HAVE YOU TO TALK TO!

WHAT A BLESSING I LIVE ALONE.

WHEN I FEEL LIKE TALKING TO SOMEONE 

 I CAN NOT TALK TO THEM

SO I WRITE TO YOU LORD

PERHAPS NO ONE KNOWS ARE SECRET.

 YOU MAKE ME STRONG WHEN I AM WEAK!

LORD I AM SO WEAK BUT YOU

ARE HELPING TO BE STRONG.

LORD I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU CAN TAKE AWAY MY FEAR. 

I AM NOT THERE YET.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.

CLOSE MY HOUSE

MAKE SURE NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS CARE WORKS

WRITE TO MY

SONS

AND GRANDDAUGHTERS

AND EVERYONE ELSE.

 I ONCE SAW A MOVIE WHERE THE LADY LEFT VIDEOS

TO BE OPENED EACH YEAR 

AS HER DAUGHTER GREW UP.

NOW I CAN NOT TALK TO MAKE THAT VIDEO

IT IS GETTING A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO TYPE.

HOW CAN I LEAVE THEM WITHOUT A

  

MESSAGE.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A MESSAGE.

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH THEM THROUGH OUT THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCES. 

TO SEE THEIR FIRSTS.

TO SEE MY FIRSTS WITH THEM.

I WANTED TO GO WITH THEM TO WHAT THEY JOIN.

I WAS PLANNING ON MOVING CLOSER SO I COULD HELP OUT 

WITH SOPHIE AND ANNIE.

BE WITH THEM IF THEY WERE SICK. 

CLOSE ENOUGH 

TO BE THERE IN THE MORNING IF THEY NEEDED ME

 CLOSE ENOUGH TO A BABY SIT

AND DRIVE HOME AT NIGHT.

I REALLY WAS TRYING TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

I LOOKED AT CHURCHES IN THE AREA

I LOOKED AT APARTMENTS IN THE AREA

I REALLY TRIED TO MAKE IT HAPPEN !!!

NOW I AM AFRAID I MIGHT GET HERE BUT BE A BURDEN.

OH MY GOD

WHY THIS WAY?

I WANT TO GIVE NOT TAKE.

I WANT TO SHARE NOT TAKE

I KNOW YOU SAY I CAN STILL LOVE

 

BUT LORD

I WANT MORE.

I WANT MORE!

I WANT MORE!!