I look around my room and it is a mess. Maybe I WILL CLEAN IT AND PUT things in order, like they should be. Should be. Should be. What is that I can't. Where, oh where am I going to find that little day. God please help me find that day. I am afraid to publish, these posts. I have never blogged before for myself. What will this blog do if nobody reads it? What if somebody reads it? What will my friends do? What will my family do? God give me the answer. This is too painful. I keep Fox News on all the time. I can't handle trivial happy stuff. I can't focus. I need strong emotion. I need to know what is happening in the world. God I did not want to have this done to me. I did not want to do this to my family. Oh how I love them. My neck hurts. I did not want to do this to my friends. God I did not want to do this to my church. What does this mean. I can't eat, I choke, I can't breathe, things are happening to me I cannot make sense of. Where oh where is my Little Day.
I know I got an email from my church to look at mission pictures
http://picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/23417818 maybe that will help. I will try. May be that can be my little day. Insert. I looked for the first time and I finally began to see the pictures half way through changing them at the longest time. I know this is Good. God please reach me. I started the slide show a second time and I am tired before I get to the end of the second time around. I see the pictures and some of my friends I know this is for good. It helps the mission but for what. God I need some answers. Is this my little day. Maybe. It is hard for me too reach. I need to reach up, but I can't touch. What am I going to do with these strong emotions? I worry what effect this will have on the mission. Maybe I should skip posting this blog and just write it. I am scared to post. God help me, Please Help me. I need to lay down.
